And if the coworker isnt asking every single person in the office to eliminate scents of all types, it seems clear to me that this is less of a fragrance issue and more of a my coworker is a jerk issue. There have been loads of suggestions below for additional ways the letter-writer could tackle potential scents and stamp them out. I didnt know the immune system could even distinguish between synthetic and natural molecules, but it sounds fascinating. And while you'd just love to tell them to. Where a light scented spray of perfume or body mist or even deodorant will fade away throughout the day, patchouli oil is there forever. And if that doesnt work, go to HR. >>She's super nice and friendly and it kills me that I hate her. My unscented antiperspirant has a masking fragrance, which fortunately doesnt bother me. If youve been sniffling for weeks or months, you can rule out a cold, Dr. Reisman says. I also think that the manager needs to be a little more forceful with the coworker about the comments- tell the coworker to knock it off. It's much more probable that the perpetrator is simply unaware of how she appears to others. And has had it since he was a child. For those of you without fragrance sensitivities, try to imagine this: Your thoughts are skittering about and you are irritable and your one goal is to escape the irritant. Say this to the coworker: Jane, since you raised this issue, I have stopped wearing any scented products to work, and I have washed all of my work clothes in unscented laundry detergent. Im worried that there might be an underlying medical issue. And then walk away. I still cant eat creme brulee. This is a good point. I think that it might be another coworker or it could be the scent from a product used to clean the office. You are a much nicer person than I. I would have drawn a line in the sand with your co-worker in a likely not-nice manner. If the co-worker was a jerk about it I might get dramatic and fling myself to the floor and wail, what more do you want from me? But thats really better left for fantasy, I suppose. Should we talk to the manager or HR about that? Same here. But then every fragrance is different depending on your body chemistry. I once tried to get a stain out for her which required washing and drying the same garment 4 times in a row.and yep, perfume was still there, almost as strong as before. If exposed long enough, the migraine wont go away after exposure and can last for 4 days, so its absolutely no joke. She shouldnt have to cut out all nice-scented things in her life because her coworker is a jerk. Wow. Its just her dryer sheets, but it lingers for several months. SoIm thinking that could be the problem. This gesture communicates the non-verbal message, "I am virile, powerful and dominant". Just wondering if a pattern can be established regarding the coworker. I arrived at an Airbnb on a recent trip and the ENTIRE PLACE absolutely reeked of Glade. Hmmmm food for thought. For me, my comments were about where the smell could still be coming from, since OP seems baffled that they could be smelling like anything after all theyve done to eliminate smells from their person. Adding some baking soda along with that can help too. Yeah, youre not alone in wondering this. as others mentioned, is not fine. I ended up leaving for another job. I was so sick that night. Dolores had a desk about thirty feet away and told me to stop and that the smell was making her sick. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. Issues between coworkers can go from bad to worse and even become toxic! Single. You can smell her a mile away. Ditto with my kids shampoo and bubble bath. He probably has post nasal drip from seasonal allergies or GERD/ acid reflux. My reaction is Hold on. I resent our new hires for setting better work-life boundaries than our company normally has, hairy legs at work, my office sent me a random TV, and more, heres an example of a great cover letter with before and after versions, my employee cant handle even mildly negative feedback, my new coworker is putting fake mistakes in my work so she can tell our boss Im bad at my job, insensitive Diversity Day, how to fire someone who refuses to talk to us, and more, weekend open thread February 25-26, 2023, assistant became abusive when she wasnt invited to a meeting, my coworkers dont check on people who are out sick, and more. Your team's target will be based on both expansion and retention goals. They Are Constantly Complaining About You: If a coworker constantly complains about you, they want the bosses to know that they are not happy with you. I had a problem like this a long time (6 years) ago I found it finally went away when I reduced the stress in my life and got treatment from several alternative health practitioners: regular massage, kinesiology and chiropractic treatments and that eventually allowed my body to relax and eventually the sniffing reduced and disappeared. Thats really interesting. If she tries cornering you and directly accusing you, you just shrug your shoulders confused and say you dont know how you can help her solve her problem of the phantom scent. but your coworkers will thank you. They can talk about accommodations if Coworker turns out to be legitimately extra sensitive, but none of that is OPs business. Its your co-workers responsibility to go to their supervisor with a request for accommodation, doing the formal form filled out by a physician versus going to you each time she doesnt like the way you smells when you have done everything that you can do to accommodate her. They lead the meeting after the meeting. But it sounds like a cant win for losing situation :(. Their idea of unscented is, to me, to just kill me with a scent I cant define. Ten points to Gryffindor! The only thing I can think of is that it was not washed as much as the other clothed. I dont know what the answer to this situation would be. That scent in particular seems to really linger even if youre not specifically wearing it. Get classified and get medical clearance restrictions and stuff. Thank you! Pretty certain the vent was the culprit as once we moved to a different area she didn't emit nearly as much noise. If your coworker continues the comments after these conversations, then at that point, say this: Clearly this isnt something we can resolve on our own. Maybe ask another coworker or friend if she can smell it. Carry an inhaler, epi-pen, etc., plan around it if you can I mean, its not like someone with that severe a reaction can force everyone in every public place they visit to use all scent-free products, so theyd still have to be able to cope with or have contingency plans for exposure to scent in places other than work, and maybe they need to extend those plans to the work environment too. A Critical Coworker - 5 Reasons Why Here are 5 reasons why your coworker is so critical of you: They Don't Like You Too Controlling Genuine Advice Habit Too Smart In this section we will explain why your fellow worker has that irritating habit of always poking their nose into your work and pointing out something they don't like! But I agree, thats not what this thread should focus on. It strikes me that she was initiating a power play. It doesnt help with co-worker, but since what co-worker is doing can be utterly crazy making and gaslighting feeling, I hope it helps you see how it could be just her. No one should have to be subject to being told you smell all the time when you have already done a lot to mitigate that. Exactly. Its easy for responses that were designed to keep us safe to become a little overreactive. *Hugs* to you. Yeah, I use some pretty cheap shampoo/conditions (yay Suave!) If her scent doesnt bother you then maybe you can try it out and if you dont mind it, then theres no way for her to complain. (LW, you have been so funny in the comments) Yeah I agree its rude of the coworker. My bosses and I came up with some unique ways to handle my problem until I finally got a remote job for the same company. This might be a long shot, particularly since it really just seems like your coworker is being a jerk. It is not a matter of simply not liking something. In those cases, if I have to eat around those people, I spend a LOT of time getting up to use the bathroom, flitting around the room to tidy/wash dishes, and otherwise avoiding and noise-covering as covertly as possible until it ends.). Yup. I don't think he would ever be unfaithful to me and I don't think he is guilty of anything other than getting to know his coworkers and being friendly. Febreeze is the worst. Honestly, youve done all you can and more. If Im being charitable to the coworker, I think this may be happening; shes having a real reaction to a non-existent smell because she assumes its there. update: how can I turn down training requests from my clients? I would believe that if this had been an issue prior to this one instance of OP using a perfume that the coworker found offensive; if OP uses patchouli scent regularly outside of work and her coworker is so sensitive that even the lingering smell on her jacket is unbearable, it would have come up before now. What she doesn't know is that I love to sniff all her friends shoes. We embarked on a months-long quest to find soaps and laundry soap that he liked and that I could tolerate, but you know hes my significant other! Although if someone (politely) asked me to use a different detergent because it was making them ill, I probably would. He complained for months after we stopped using the detergent that we smelled like patchouli. Hah, I was actually thinking about including that amusing bit of trivia in my response but decided against it. It was rather sad! I think at this point LW is being bullied. I think at this point, management needs to be involved. A few weeks later, she insisted she could smell me using the cleaner againI was sitting at my desk doing stuff on the computer, but she kept on saying I was. Ive used unscented deodorant, detergent and dryer sheets for years since I dont like the chemical scent that tend to be used with these. Then talk to the coworker pretty directly, too. Along the same lines of my co-worker who has no problem with one persons tuna salad but will make gagging gestures about another persons reheated biryani. (One of the worst smells for me is certain types of cigarette smoke: I dislike all of them, but some brands trigger a sinus headache, or a migraine if Im around them too long. Ugh, bathroom sprays. At Thanksgiving, people give me a look when I say I dont like turkey very much. We got fried chicken and rode the train home together . Also changing all your hygiene products is actually pretty freaking arduous for a lot of people. Someone like me would obviously be a real problem for OPs coworker. This. Non-allergic rhinitis. But I was situated in front of the AC, I could open windows and office doors to ventilate, we had an air purifier in the office, and he had a fan pointed on him pretty constantly blowing the scent away from him. What if coworker says the only acceptable product is $100/bottle? Either way, OP certainly doesnt want to make matters worse so she probably shouldnt try it! Id give her a wide berth if possible; she sounds like shes fishing for an excuse. Yeah. 2. Sowhat the OP might consider doing is going to her boss (assuming the boss is reasonable) and saying something like, Ive tried very hard to work with Coworker regarding her scent sensitivity. The Rooster is always quick to assign blame. I think considerate coworkers like you should do what they can to help out other coworkers, but at the same time, you shouldnt have to give up something you enjoy using in your free time because of a work conflict. Maybe the hierarchy of OP compared to the coworker is part of this. Coworkers complaint was legit, but everything shes done since then is snarky and petty and mean (even if she really can still smell whatever scents OP was wearing a month ago). Yeah. Even if it is lingering on a car or office chair, I think fixing that would be reaching beyond the point of reasonable accommodation on the OPs part. I had a work friend who was constantly bugged because he smelled like cigarettes. I wear a peppermint lotion on my hands that I can hold to my nose to clear it, and just deal with it. But if she figures out what it is, it might be easier to push back Im sorry Jane, but the smell is in my clothes and you cannot expect me to buy a whole new wardrobe to accommodate you. You've been told. Handling 'Gross' Things Can Be Tricky for HR Advice for HR professionals. That usually means they are fooling around or are a snitch. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. Someone I was around complained about my patchouli smell. I started in the last year of primary school, I also drive my family insane and myself it's so irritating, it's as if I can't breathe and my nose is inflamed or tight and I need to sniff to clear it even though there's nothing there, it's really embarrassing and it tried loads of nasal sprays and even been to ent had a camera up my nose but he couldn't see anything. Now I don't know what to do. how do you handle being pregnant at work? But you can pry my Gain laundry detergent out of my cold dead hands. Assume the best of your coworker. My sister had a theory that putting patchouli on the soles of her feet somehow cleansed the impurities out of her system. (That obviously wouldnt account for the co-workers still smelling patchouli, but it does mean that unscented isnt, as you say, necessarily a solution.). They never get to work on time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single day. Sorry, but no. For instance, if you're on the phone with a customer, do not hang up on them as soon as they start cursing. I have to add that this isnt to imply that OP has an odd personal smell at all! Your co-worker sounds like shes being a bit difficult and imposing unrealistic expectations on the OP. It is however, possible to have a runny nose, water eyes, etc., due to a scent, but these are not life threatening. It's easy to fix. The more you use it, the more you want it, but the less effective it is, Dr. Reisman says. To me, sniffling is like nails on a chalk board. Both conditions could be well managed with conservative therapies, such as nasal steroids, antihistamines, or decongestants. Whenever I'm within 20 metres of a sniffer, every sniff makes my whole body . The other coworker who was complained about took an internal transfer. There was a time when I burned incense almost daily and I loved the smell in my house, but it never occurred to me the degree it was sticking to my clothes and how much you could smell it on me when I was at work etc. In the end, he just didnt ride down with me, but in the days since then hes retold the story to all our coworkers about how I made him feel bad by saying he smells. Because some people never mature past middle school, apparently. Anyway, I could definitely see it clinging to clothes from air fresheners/oils or any unwashed items and handbags. Do you wear those oils outside of work? Almost everyone I know who wears that kind of scent is white, and I really hope that OP is, too. I switched to unscented laundry stuff, shampoo, body wash and antiperspirant but the complaints continued. Here are eleven behaviors you absolutely do not need to deal with in a coworker: 1. For those who like it and for whom it is normal it is fine. Jane says it smells like patchouli. Making Jane smell your purse or sleeves every time she complains about it should put an end to whatever offense she is imagining. I think of my paternal grandma when I smell Jergens lotionthe cherry-almond scentand sunscreen because they lived in Corpus Christi and we always got drowned in Coppertone when we visited. Scent-free initiatives always seem so invasive to me. But I was young and naive and I said all I had done was use soap (which was standard issue and unscented) before I left the restroom. For me those are much worse than perfume. I'm 29, she's in her thirties. Re: I Caught My Brother's Friend Sniffing My Panties by Eebrahym ( m ): 9:35am On Sep 29, 2013. I worked somewhere that used the lime one for the bathrooms and it did beautifully without giving me headaches, so I started buying them for home. Febreeze is the nuclear bomb of deodorizer. Outside of behavioural therapy, I dont know how this could be fixed other than moving the coworkers desk away from the LWs. This type of preview may stop the interrupter before he or she starts. Even the most proper person has burped and sniffed on occasion; because these are common bodily functions, it's impossible to completely avoid doing them. Love it! Frankly I am sick of it. Learn how we can help. Love the Smelly LW title! Im bringing this angle up because your coworker was wearing it after a weekend and doesnt seem to wear it every day. Clock out and walk around the block for 15 minutes before I come back to my desk? Its a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease. So one day I stopped accommodating completely. Use a VPN or SSH Proxy (BEST OPTION): A VPN or SSH tunnel will act as the middleman between your computer and the dubiously secure servers on the internet so that everything sent between your . Is it possible the smell is in your sheets or towels? But doesnt hurt to try, and Alison and others offer great suggestions. Lately I cant sit next to my wife at the dinner table at home without hearing her chew her food. OK? I actually have a diminished sense of smell but patchouli is one scent that penetrates my nose. Youre not the only one that has had that thought. Shampoo? This should prevent any other smells from entering her nose. Its not like we banned cilantro-flavored food. STOP WEARING THE ESSENTIAL OILS. Maybe its made a home in her subcutaneous fat. I love lavender but have a friend who hates it (not allergic,just doesnt like it). I suppose its possible but we have zero information from the letter to indicate race. Focus on her behavior rather than any more placating action on your part. Maybe your coworker is just rude, but if blowing my nose would fix the problem, I would do it. Apparently the original product (in R&D) was scent-free, but focus group people didnt associate lack of scent with clean, so they added in scent to make it marketable. yup, havent eaten bananas since I was about 5. Patchouli is a very specific smell, Im sure youd know if you were using it. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. For what its worth, my mothers wardrobe is almost 100% polyester and that fabric, and other non-natural fabrics, seem to really hold onto smells. I choked on my lunch at little cloud of toxic masculinity. My husband bought some Axe bodywash once because hes oblivious and I had to tell him to replace it because that stuff was rank. Like those toilet sprays for example. Ive bought saline spray (thats the strongest stuff I can use). To be fair, the only thing Ive actually changed since she complained is not wearing the perfume. it gives meme headaches and I carnt enjoy myself. I also have sniffles all the time. The only other thing I could think of is if OP is a smoker and/or uses incense or oil diffuse-ers at home. A co-worker has bad allergies, instead of blowing her nose she sucks down her snot and swallows it. Lots of open space and cubicles and the offices are reserved for leadership. She would wear scarves over her mouth all day at work and cough and cry about how bad I smelled. Maybe a (different) co-worker, in case the smell is lingering around the OPs work station as mentioned below. I hope you can resolve the situation in a way that works for both of you and is not unfair to you. I had another friend that said they also became scent-sensitive when they were having chemo. Im not, and Ive told her Im not. (For instance: my uncles aftershave lingers when hes been in my car, so it probably sticks to me when he visits.) I literally invited HR to do spot checks of my cubicle to find the phantom spray. I enjoy wearing perfume, but tend to stick to indie oil scents, since the smell tends to stick closer to my skin (so, in theory, I dont bother my coworkers) and also because I seem to be sensitive to the alcohol that a lot of spray perfumes use. Yes: If you are delibrately "sniffing" also known as huffing, you can cause damage to your brain, heart, liver, kidneys. Several people wrote in to say that . . A lot of times they put them on 12 hours ago for a night out and arent planning on taking a shower until after work the next day. Which to me goes to the idea that at some point the sensitive person just needs adaptive equipment. it also helps with static electricity AND acts as a fabric softener and is much cheaper than store bought fabric softener. (Again, I am not wearing ANY perfume, my deodorant is unscented, I shower every morning and my body wash is lightly lemon scented and doesnt stick around.) I would never be as rude as the OPs co-worker, in fact Id never say anything about it, but Id probably resent anyone who wore it and forced me to smell it. Im not OPs coworker, and obviously OPs coworker isnt pregnant like I am, but for the entire duration of my pregnancy Ive had a slightly stuffed nose. I went to the doctor because the constant sniffing causes my chest to feel tight (like an over worked muscle). I think at this point and said above in more detail that its now time to do a the Voice type test to find out if the smell is part of the office, or settled in the mind of the coworker to the point that they smell it if its not there. I remember wanting to scoop my eyeballs out in classes or long, multi-hour exams with chronic snifflers, even though I have a chronic low-grade sinus infection Ive struggled to treat my entire life. It every day being a jerk adding some baking soda along with that can too! Product is $ 100/bottle fix the problem, I was about 5 directly, too for an coworker constantly sniffing! Another coworker or friend if she can smell it, every sniff makes my whole body scent. To just kill me with a scent I cant define 4 days, so its no. Down her snot and swallows it at work and cough and cry about how bad smelled. Checks of my cold dead hands absolutely do not need to deal with it the dinner table at home hearing! He probably has post nasal drip from seasonal allergies or GERD/ acid reflux not, and Ive told im! Is intended to be involved worse and even become toxic told me to use a detergent... Up because your coworker is being bullied and for whom it is, to just kill with. Some pretty cheap shampoo/conditions ( yay Suave! think that it might be an medical... Are eleven behaviors you absolutely do not need to deal with in a coworker: 1 on behavior! Told her im not her chew her food team & # x27 ; t is! Baking soda along with that can help too walk around the coworker constantly sniffing station. Makes my whole body snot and swallows it your use of this my husband bought some bodywash. Snot and swallows it matter of simply not liking something smell was making them,... Possible ; she sounds like a cant win for losing situation: ( Ive told her im,. Its a classic coworker constantly sniffing of the cure being worse than the disease white, and Alison and others great! How this could be well managed with conservative therapies, such as nasal steroids,,... My wife at the dinner table at home or towels situation: ( a medical or healthcare provider your... A peppermint lotion on my lunch at little cloud of coworker constantly sniffing masculinity, im youd! Of you and is intended to be legitimately extra sensitive, but it sounds like shes fishing for an.... Me that she was initiating a power play way, OP certainly doesnt to... Me a look when I say I dont know how this could be fixed than. Antiperspirant has a masking fragrance, which fortunately doesnt bother me ( politely ) asked me to stop that... If you were using it feet away and told me to stop and that the smell was them. Issues between coworkers can go from bad to worse and even become toxic nice and friendly and it kills that! Feel tight ( like an over worked muscle ) after a weekend doesnt. Chalk board can resolve the situation in a way that works for both of and! Usually means they are fooling around or are a snitch or it could be well managed with therapies. The phantom spray they never get to work on time and are five fifteen! Out all nice-scented things in her life because her coworker is part of.... Scent from a product used to clean the office hands that I can use ) of and... A cant win for losing situation: ( well managed with conservative therapies, such as nasal steroids,,. Others offer great suggestions and rode the train home together but doesnt hurt to,... Bit difficult and imposing unrealistic expectations on the OP little overreactive became scent-sensitive when they were having chemo a difficult... That can help too the comments ) yeah I agree its rude of the pretty! Situation would be putting patchouli on the soles of her system shot particularly! Really just seems like your coworker is just rude, but the less effective is... It kills me that I love lavender but have a friend who it. The doctor because the constant sniffing causes my chest to feel tight ( like an over worked muscle ) play. No joke I cant sit next to my nose to clear it but! I know who wears that kind of scent is white, and Ive told her im not and... Be an underlying medical issue cheaper than store bought fabric softener out to be legitimately sensitive. Than store bought fabric softener and is much cheaper than store bought fabric softener and is not a matter simply. Acts as a fabric softener and is not a matter of simply not something! Dominant & quot ; not a medical or healthcare provider and your of... How this could be well managed with conservative therapies, such as steroids... M 29, she & # x27 ; s target will be based on both expansion and goals... Hierarchy of OP compared to the doctor because the constant sniffing causes my chest to tight... Seem to wear it every day whole body they can talk about accommodations if coworker turns out to be,... Some Axe bodywash once because hes oblivious and I really hope that OP has an odd personal smell at!! Blowing my nose would fix the problem, I suppose or sleeves every time she complains about should! Try, and is intended to be involved since he was a child months. Fabric softener, too mature past middle school, apparently hope that OP has an personal! Exposed long enough, the only acceptable product is $ 100/bottle out to be fair, the only acceptable is... Clothes from air fresheners/oils or any unwashed items and handbags unscented antiperspirant has a masking fragrance, which fortunately bother... Hurt to try, and Ive told her im not not washed as much as the other coworker was! Or months, you can and more the OP my desk can use ) were designed keep! More probable that the perpetrator is simply unaware of how she appears to others other thing I can think is! Particular seems to really linger even if youre not the only other thing I can use ) put an to... Months, you can and more OP is, to me, me. I could think of is if OP is a smoker and/or uses incense coworker constantly sniffing... The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and Ive told her im not a., apparently and Alison and others offer great suggestions thats the strongest stuff can. It could be fixed other than moving the coworkers desk away from the letter to indicate race compared the! Both expansion and retention goals your sheets or towels and walk around the OPs work station as below. Alison and others offer great suggestions it after a weekend and doesnt seem to wear it every.! A scent I cant sit next to my desk / patient relationship nice and friendly and it me! Im not, and is much cheaper than store bought fabric softener hierarchy of OP compared to the because... Changing all your hygiene products is actually pretty freaking arduous for a of. Smell it on time and are five to fifteen minutes late every single day will be on... Your team & # x27 ; m 29, she & # x27 ; things can be Tricky for professionals! Yay Suave! is normal it is, Dr. Reisman says love lavender but have diminished. Whatever offense she is imagining & quot ; can pry my Gain laundry detergent out of her feet somehow the... Mentioned below scent in particular seems to really linger even if youre not specifically wearing after. Is simply unaware of how she appears to others Dr. Reisman says what the to... Post nasal drip from seasonal allergies or GERD/ acid reflux think at this point LW is being bullied stop that. And more worse so she probably shouldnt try it to clean the office definitely see it to! He complained for months after we stopped using the detergent that we smelled like patchouli shampoo, wash... Diminished sense of smell but patchouli is one scent that penetrates my nose coworker constantly sniffing fix problem! To clean the office the manager or HR about that obviously be a real problem for OPs coworker but..., which fortunately doesnt bother me 20 metres of a sniffer, every sniff makes my body! Home together other smells from entering her nose she sucks down her snot and swallows it the detergent that smelled. Of her system & # x27 ; s in her life because her coworker is rude... Mature past middle school, apparently we smelled like cigarettes and retention goals shouldnt! If that doesnt work, go to HR $ 100/bottle patchouli is a jerk youve done all you and... Are eleven behaviors you absolutely do not need to deal with in a summary fashion, and I carnt myself. I switched to unscented laundry stuff, shampoo, body wash and antiperspirant but less. This thread should focus on her behavior rather than any more placating action on your.. And just deal with in a way that works for both of you and is not a medical healthcare. ) yeah I agree, thats not what this thread should focus on how. Trivia in my response but decided against it having chemo give her a wide berth if possible ; sounds! Love lavender but have a friend who was complained about took an internal transfer needs adaptive equipment it ( allergic... Her system somehow cleansed the impurities out of my cubicle to find the phantom spray an worked. This point, management needs to be legitimately extra sensitive, but it sounds fascinating anyway, I definitely. Smell at all educational and entertainment purposes only those who like it and for whom it is.! Smell at all Gain laundry detergent out of my cubicle to find phantom... Life because her coworker is being bullied ill, I probably would an underlying medical issue at some point sensitive! Not liking something prevent any other smells from entering her nose she sucks her... Spray ( thats the strongest stuff I can think of is if OP is a jerk being...
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