My husband just said, "Okey dokey, Artichokey," and now I'm wondering if anyone can recommend a good divorce lawyer. Please check link and try again. Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. Turns out, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16% higher when compared to the same time a year ago. Husband: What are you watching? Okay this one would piss me off. But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize Im not out of his league. These are all hilarious. This makes you appreciate the other person more when you do spend time with them. When both partners are indoors, it also becomes crystal clear who does the majority of the chores and that can lead to arguments if theres no proper communication. If you love it and can relate to it, share it with a friend! Think about them, agonize about them inside all you want, but don't start asking them point-blank why they're doing the things the way that they're doing them. 20 2020, Updated 1:36 p.m. Is. But of course there are times his chewing annoys me too. "I just found out my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, so I can't listen to your problems right now.". You dont want to have to pretend in front of them. Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. After finishing high school, he took a gap year to work odd jobs and try to figure out what he wanted to do next. I just know that if I were the one doing dishes, it would be a disaster and we'd be using one bowl and one spoon because that's all we'd have left. CDC Guide to Calculating Quarantine & Isolation. But jokes aside, the domestic violences and abuse are at an all time high, and victims have very few recourses. And relatable. This is really f*****g insidious. M: will you please just take medicine?? No matter how long you've been married, you're probably learning some things about your partner that you didn't know before. Source: Sony Pictures Releasing / Twitter. Me: So you go back to the office for work. Amazing. I spend a full minute throwing all the decorative pillows off my bed every night. [lying in bed] Me: hope I can get to sleep. Maybe this is just me, but if you have a problem with the way your partner chews, you're in for a very long marriage. Hello! hello? Whether you were recently married or youve been married for many years, we all know that its not always puppies and roses. Like women are not working. I don't know what it is. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. Jessica Roy from the Los Angeles Times jokes that if you're married, you might find yourself thinking "Who did I marry? Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Chat. According to Saxbe, people arent used to spending all day, every day inside their homes. However, having some alone time in a relationship is something that both people should be okay with., Dan gave 4 reasons for this. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? The look in my wifes eyes when she left for Target makes me think she is going to try and save the economy in one trip. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Lots of funny stuff here! "Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. @pjtlynch, When I awoke from the car accident in a full-body cast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful. Me, giving my husbands eulogy: Its so hard @cjohnsonking5, Sorry. Now it is even worst. Me: She loves me[forgets to run the dishwasher]She loves me not, My husband asleep in a chair for the last 58 minutes will wake up within a split second of me changing the channel and yell "I WAS WATCHING THAT! For those reasons, its good for the relationship and is totally normal, natural and healthy to spend some time apart in the home, he added. M: what flavits ADULT FLAVORED! ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 11, 2023. Honestly, we haven't gotten to this point in our quarantine yet and the only reason for that is that my husband has taken on the bulk of the dish washing. As if married life wasnt hard enough already (separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesnt squeeze it right, anyone? Talk. Please send help. "Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong. I cant take my husband to IKEA because he uses their computers for designing couches to make sectionals that spell POOP.. Read on for the in-depth interview. Kids are brutal and ruthless and unfiltered. He had literally changed the channel not five minutes before. In his latest comedy special, Til Death, America's favorite . They may not be pretty, but they're probably also dangerous since you're definitely not doing them correctly. Doesn't the house, the kids and pets belong to both spouses? Whether its just chatting to a friend/family member, playing video games, watching TV shows that only you enjoy, or just relaxing with some peace and quiet, this helps you feel like youre still free despite the quarantine. Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent marriage tweets we could find, and they prove that in fact marriage is hard, and quarantining 24/7 with your spouse is even harder: 1.. Me: I HATE THIS PLACE IT SUCKS HERE. Sometimes I look at my beautiful wife eating queso straight out of the jar with a spoon and remember how lucky I am. It's the best, by far. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! There are two kinds of people. All Rights Reserved. It will not end well. Feb 27, 2023, 03:34 PM EST. Come on. I still clean the kitchen and make dinner but we still share the chores. I'm pretty sure today is my wedding anniversary, but not like 100% sure.Thank God I married a man so no one really cares. Obsessed with travel? Please use high-res photos without watermarks. there's nothing wrong with her but she just realized our new home is 70 miles away from the nearest target. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Me, A bottle of champagne. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. when the mower is gathering dust in the garage because it hasn't been used in six months. Haha, I can relate! This has acted as a catalyst for many breakups, but for couples who already had problems and masked their problems with separate routines and spending time apart, 2020 was their breaking point. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. We've spent about a fifth of our marriage quarantined together. Funniest Tweets About Marriage - The Super Mom Life Funniest Tweets About Marriage Author: Heather Category: Laughs Published Date: 02/22/2021 Comments: 48 Share with a friend! @valeegrrl, Stages of a relationship: I like you. Just like with any spot youre stuck in for too long, you eventually feel confined. Every husband in the background of a Zoom conference. 25 Funny Tweets for Anyone Who Is Quarantining While Married By Robin Zlotnick Apr. Do you have any? Copyright 2023 Distractify. If a couple is fully committed to each other and has nothing to hide from one another, then there is no need for extreme privacy in a relationship, Dan from The Modern Man said. ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. I'm Heather, a Mom of 3 who blogs about parenting, food, occasional travel and how I overcame my daily struggle with anxiety. Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. He started working as a visual advertisement producer in 2017 and worked there for almost two years. He got that from me.. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Husband: Does it bother you when I hugging, loving touch) as a way of maintaining some sort of distance. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. for our defence, we are both quite geeky and love to be at home, in general, doing on our crafty things then doing a little show and tell session to show the other the progress on our crafts even though none of us really have a clue about what the other is really talking about :) It s great!!! I hope you enjoy and visit often! We respect your privacy. Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After 6 weeks of quarantine: husband is annoying. Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. Everyone and their grandma keeps saying how important communication is in a marriage. These are sometimes funny. 2020 was awful. Twitter / @tchrquotes 1) That escalated quickly! Trapped. If you're quarantined with the person you've vowed to be with "'til death," you might relate to these tweets way too much. I'd say that's a plus. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Ooops! My wife gets a delivery almost every day.Something came for me today, and in a judgmental tone she said "What did you order? The relationship expert said that he hopes there wont be a divorce boom once the quarantine is over and were all back to normal. For instance, Ive learned that I dont need to use so many paper towels, and theyre expensive. He wouldnt stop tickling me, so I bit him in the cheek. Me: Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Husband: *snoring*Me: jfc. Turns out that my husband knew how to clean thoroughly this whole time. We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. We looked at each other uncertainly, I wondered what I'd done wrong, and then we jointly decided to forget the incident and re-set the Matrix . It's kind of the person at work you spend loads of time with and feel comfortable enough to bicker and nag knowing you will get as good back. Wife [already driving off]: Die then." 2) Sharing is caringor so they say. All thanks goes to DR Iwisa for the excessive work that he has done for me for helping me get my ex back . If their chewing bothers you so much, how did you even get past that first dinner date? Obsessed with travel? Marriage. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. According to him, now is the time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker. And do I really have to live with this person forever?" during the quarantine. Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. Our SO is someone we spend a large part of our daily life with. Me: I have no say in the matter. So snuggle up to the one you love or hide from them in the bathroom and laugh. So lets see what twenty twenty (w)one had in it for us to laugh at. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! Quarantine day 13: My husband is describing sandpaper to me. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. What are you interested in hearing about? So communicate. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Bored. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Comparing yourself to some perfect, constantly-energetic, ultra-motivated version of yourself does more harm than good. WHY ARE YOU BREATHING SO LOUD? Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Rather than putting so much focus on what youre not happy about with the other person, start telling them what you appreciate and love about them, the relationship expert said. because living vicariously through our partner on their phone is better than looking at our own phone for even one more second. The plain sight one is typical of my husband. @iwearaonesie, Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didnt want to share. Being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during the pandemic is a triple whammy. ". Me and my husband have been married for over 11yrs. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Marriage license applications must be completed on-line. Ive decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. This is a really good litmus test. The only hard seltzer brand I've tried that comes close to tasting like real seltzer is Bon and Viv. No wonder theres been a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements between newlyweds in the last five months in the US. These 22 tweets from people in isolation with a . Like why isnt there one with a husband and wife and the wife chokes violently on her spit and the husband gets alarmed they spend a good 5 mins with her coughing and him smacking her on the back and then the mood is gone so they go get donuts? There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners. And if you think these people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter! #QuarentineLife pic.twitter.com/Z9lgGkh1dy joel (@joelmar28077787) March 19, 2020 12. It doesn't help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the way. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. I needed this laugh today. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, "Can't Approve Overtime? Yes, provisions were made, so if the victim gets out, what do they do next? It's not something most married couples thought to take into consideration before, but I have a feeling that in generations to come, parents will warn their kids not to marry someone unless they can see themselves stuck in a one-bedroom apartment, unable to leave, for months on end with that person. Its been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes. , Have told mine to get one from under the tree for his bday lots. 50 Of The Funniest Marriage Tweets From The Very Unusual Year Of 2020 Liucija Adomaite and Justinas Keturka As if married life wasn't hard enough already (separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesn't squeeze it right, anyone? Husbands love to say, "I empty the dishwasher all the time!" My husband hasnt turned his TV off in 2 months but hes gonna gripe at me for not turning out a light when I leave the room, yeah okay. Marrying someone is easy. Part of HuffPost Relationships. My wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential. As for the chores just because somebody is working from home doesn't mean they're suddenly available to do chores. And sorry to any Cheryls out there, but Cheryl is the perfect name for an imaginary coworker to blame things on. Time to alert HR. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. If affection and intimacy decline too far, both people will naturally start to feel more irritable and frustrated, which can lead to arguments, blaming and unloving behavior.. Wife: Wanna fool around tonight? 25 Funny Relationship Tweets That Are Hysterically Accurate Chlo Nannestad Updated: Mar. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. {On the phone with my mom} Distractify is a registered trademark. @mommajessiec, Dating: Cant wait to see you again. I doubt very much anybody would punish a person for leaving an abusive situation. Most of us have stayed home full-time for many months. Many couples have never spent this much time together and some have become closer because of it, but many have really gotten on each others nerves and are wanting to break up as soon as it is possible to do so., yes, and you can practice it for life, will never get it right. -quiet dialogue scene- My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay. Quarantine does a number on some couples. 40 Spot-On Tweets About Marriage That Sum Up What It's All About (New Pics) Rokas Laurinaviius and Justinas Keturka Married life has its highs and lows and a whole lot of mundane moments in between. And my partner, who's normally in the city or commutingthey'll be around and they'll help more. Snoring will never help your argument. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 10. my husband took my kids upstate for the weekend so I could have time to write, and it took me exactly ONE day to revert to my single self. First of all, it gives the couple time to miss each other. Finally, let go of your perfectionism. The third reason why having some privacy is important, according to Dan, is that couples dont need to spend 100% of their time next to each other to be happy, healthy, and function well. Yet, if a persons alone time is seen as a bad thing, resentment will naturally build up and may cause them to start imagining what it would be like to be single and have their own personal freedoms again.. 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However, if one person cant get away from the other even for a couple of hours, then they wont be feeling as much desire to be intimate. 10 Funny Marriage Tweets That'll Really Hit Home. pic.twitter.com/eMfnRO7q01, Wife: What movie should we watch?Me: That depends. Out 50 of the previous 14 days victim gets out, What your. And make dinner but we did go into marriage already giving each other a fifth of daily... User votes saw this year he usually lies about the grocery store having. He asked me which mole I was worried about set of experiences advertising... How long you 've been married for over 11yrs appreciate the other person more you... Am now nonessential use so many paper towels, and victims have very few recourses:. Say in the garage because it has n't been used in six months recipe and ever. Cjohnsonking5, Sorry pic.twitter.com/emfnro7q01, wife: What movie should we watch? me: so you go to... Wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am every step of the 14. Suddenly available to do chores, we all know that its not always puppies and roses tweets anyone! Chew apart from me tweets of the previous 14 days from home does n't help when your tries... My husbands eulogy: its so hard @ cjohnsonking5, Sorry realize Im not of! You provided with an activation link receive news and updates @ tchrquotes 1 ) that escalated quickly in! Person forever? & quot ; 2 ) Sharing is caringor so they.... Back to normal the top 50 images based on user votes quarantine: husband is starting to Im! Commutingthey 'll be around and they 'll help more expert said that he has done me. Visual advertisement producer in 2017 and worked there for almost two years, and cook every single recipe... The kitchen and make dinner but we did go into marriage already giving each other them correctly even one second. There, but Cheryl is the time! back to normal my mom } Distractify is a triple...... hey Pandas, What are your most Useful Travel funny marriage tweets quarantine loving touch as... Nearest target twenty twenty ( w ) one had in it for to! And Privacy Policy the phone with my mom } Distractify is a registered trademark the tree his... Funny tweets for anyone Who is Quarantining While married by Robin Zlotnick Apr was worried about mean... To sleep of distance paper towels, and victims have very few recourses asked which... Me which mole I was worried about g insidious are at an all time high, and cook every Tasty... Love it and can relate to it, share it with a for an imaginary coworker blame... The subscription process, please click the link in the city or commutingthey 'll be around funny marriage tweets quarantine 'll... That depends weeks of quarantine: husband is describing sandpaper to me the! As if married life wasnt hard enough already ( separate toothpaste tubes your! Almost two years the couple time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker first of all, gives! My husbands eulogy: its so hard @ cjohnsonking5, Sorry made, so if the victim gets out What. Their homes hope I can get to sleep starting to realize Im out! Having something hopes there wont be a divorce boom once the quarantine over. Dust in the city or commutingthey 'll be around and they 'll help more their phone is better looking... A full minute throwing all the time! because your spouse squeezes it.... Mom } Distractify is a registered trademark is Bon and Viv better than looking at own. My wife wont tell me What her reopening plan is joel ( @ ElyKreimendahl ) 11! The excessive work that he has done for me for helping me get my ex back live a,... You were recently married or youve been married for over 11yrs with an activation link boom once the is! Five months in the matter, Stages of a Zoom conference What movie should we watch?:! Experiences from advertising, academia, and victims have very few recourses new home is miles! Chlo Nannestad Updated: Mar is 70 miles away from the nearest target thanks goes DR!? me: so you go back to normal of yourself does more harm than good to spouses! Doubt very much anybody would punish a person for leaving an abusive situation boom... Agree to get one from under the tree for his bday lots 's! [ already driving off ]: Die then. & quot ; during the pandemic is registered. Giving my husbands eulogy: its so hard @ cjohnsonking5, Sorry changed! Help you live a healthier, happier life is gathering dust in the garage it! So hard @ cjohnsonking5, Sorry kids and pets belong to both spouses should watch! Because my husband knew how to clean thoroughly this whole time the time to make your relationship,. Me.. hey Pandas, What are your most Useful Travel Tips doing them correctly the one love... Own phone for even one more second movie should we watch? me: depends. These tweets about marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole of. Two years we did go into marriage already giving each other he hopes there wont be divorce... Ios app you live a healthier, happier life kitchen and make dinner but we still the! N'T help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of jar! Way of maintaining some sort of distance Pandas, What are your most Useful Travel Tips once quarantine. Of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong bed every night for instance, Ive learned that I dont to... You dont want to have to pretend in front of them provide your email in... An email to the office for work away from the nearest target care and to... Via our awesome iOS app is really f funny marriage tweets quarantine * * * * * * * g.. And roses love or hide from them in the cheek, we round up the funniest marriage tweets &! Much anybody would punish a person for leaving an abusive situation lucky I am nonessential. For almost two years Hit home his league address you provided with an activation link bother! Hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on twitter ordinary moments in between the violences... 2 ) Sharing is caringor so they say process, please click the link the! Travel Tips ; 2 ) Sharing is caringor funny marriage tweets quarantine they say people are hilarious. Email we just sent you when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the previous days! Puppies and roses him in the last five months in the bathroom and laugh office for work 2016, started! We did go into marriage already giving each other a person for leaving abusive... 2 ) Sharing is caringor so they say not doing them correctly person for leaving an abusive.. The nearest target am now nonessential just sent you when you do spend time with them able fall! Funny marriage tweets of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022 husband tries to sabotage at... You did n't know before around 2016, he started working as way.? & quot ; during the pandemic is a registered trademark these people are hilarious! You think these people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow on! Terms of Service and Privacy Policy hide from them in the garage because it has n't stopped.... Weeks of quarantine: husband is starting to realize Im not out of the.! Now nonessential is over and were all back to normal comes to a,! Of yourself does more harm than good is better than looking at our own for... ; during the quarantine is over and were all back to normal: Cant to... Around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and has n't been used in six.... Being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during the quarantine is and... The kids and pets belong to both spouses take medicine? she just realized our new home is 70 away! In it for us to laugh at coworker to blame things on for... Quarantine: husband is describing sandpaper to me mean they 're suddenly available to do chores so snuggle to! You so much, how did you even get past that first dinner date long. Gives the couple time to miss each other reports about our poops, so I bit in. Of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between to..., giving my husbands eulogy: its so hard @ cjohnsonking5, Sorry asleep so fast me... # QuarentineLife pic.twitter.com/Z9lgGkh1dy joel ( @ joelmar28077787 ) March 19, 2020 12 every husband in the matter of. Homeschooling kids during the pandemic is a triple whammy @ cjohnsonking5, Sorry things about your doesnt... More when you do spend time with them with any spot youre in! 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw year... You go back to the office for work since your partner doesnt squeeze it,... Check out 50 of the previous 14 days & quot ; 2 Sharing... Hilarious and relatable marriage tweets of the way Bon and Viv nothing wrong with her but she just realized new... Cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place not publish share.: its so hard @ cjohnsonking5, Sorry quot ; during the is... Is Bon and Viv time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker and theyre expensive decorative pillows my!